Tough Calls – D Is for Dad

I mentioned the other week that I lead something of a binary life. When the girls are with me, I’m full-on single dad. When they’re not, I’m all about me. This isn’t how I thought I would be leading my life, but I’ve managed to adapt to it fairly well. Every now and then, however, this binary life forces me to make some tough calls.

For instance, the Super Bowl is happening tomorrow. I’m no football fan (and less of a football commercial fan than I was a few years ago), but everyone and their brother will be at a Super Bowl party tomorrow night. My church is hosting a Super Bowl party for young adults (whatever that means), so I figured I’d go. I don’t have the girls this weekend, so the party would be a good opportunity to socialize with adults.

However, my ex has been invited to a Super Bowl party. (Remember: Everyone and their brother.) She asked me if I wanted to have the girls for a few hours or if she should get a babysitter. (A babysitter for the Super Bowl? Good luck with that.) That meant I had a tough call to make: Go to my church’s Super Bowl party on my own, in an attempt to have something of a social life. Or take the girls with me to the party, have a completely different experience there, and probably leave early since the girls will get bored.

Tough call.

I opted to have the girls stay with me for a few hours. What tipped the scales? Sunday falls in the middle of the seven days in a row I don’t get to have my girls with me that happens twice a month. I dropped them off at school yesterday morning, and they’re with their mother until Thursday afternoon.

I know I need time on my own to rebuild my social life. But I also know I don’t like going seven days in a row without my girls.

We’ll see how the party goes. Hopefully the girls and I will have a good time there. If not, that’s okay. We’ll head home and hang out, and that will be fun, too!

Image: “A Balanced Diet,” Rebecca Weaver, Flickr (CC)

Kim says:

February 16, 2012 at 7:08 pm

I finally had time to read your entire blog and this post definitely hit home for me. I can completely relate on so many levels. I think that single parenting will always be a delicate balancing act. It does make the time we do have with our kids so much more precious, but nothing can take the sting away from not being able to be with them/see them every single day.

Derek says:

February 18, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Thanks, Kim. A year or two ago, I was often glad to have time to myself when the girls were with their mom. I was usually so exhausted from being a single dad that I welcomed the break. These days, however, I’m finding myself missing my girls more and more when they’re with their mom. I think I “recover” faster from the single parent days. I still *need* that time on my own to catch up with my job and housework and such, but it’s awfully hard to spend time at home on the weekends looking at Lily’s dollhouse and Hannah’s latest art project and not having them here with me!

Kim says:

February 18, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Exactly! When my time is filled with dinner or a movie with friends or I’m getting things done like grocery shopping (which Ali hates), I know that I’m fine. Currently, I am staring at a mound of Littlest Pet Shop toys and a yarn/glitter/construction paper masterpiece in my living room floor. A sweet little someone didn’t clean up before she went to her dads house and it just reminds me that I don’t know what she’s doing and that I’m not with her. I know that she is unconditionally loved when she is with her dad but this it not how I pictured her growing up at all. I’m sure you feel the same way. Thank God for children being resilient!

Leave a Reply Cancel reply