Right Now

I was washing dishes tonight, and I happened to glance at the framed photo I have of Hannah that sits on the counter near the sink. It’s a shot from a trip the two of us took to Dollywood a couple of years ago. There she was, smiling with a couple of baby teeth missing, holding the stuffed animal she won at one of the games.

Hannah seems like a whole different kid now. Taller, more coordinated. More sure of herself in some ways, but more worried about what her friends think of her. Reading like a book a day. Watching Disney Channel original series. Writing a report for school on President Taft. (Remind me to share that story one day.) Girl Scouts! She’s doing Girl Scouts now, and already has a few patches.

Lily’s growing up, too. She has more personality these days, and says silly things I know she’s picked up from her friends at school. And she can read. Not just pretend-read, but actually read. She can sound out most any three- or four-letter word. She brought a book home from school today with a sheet for me to sign saying we had read the book. I asked her if I was supposed to read it to her, or if she was supposed to read it to me. She pointed both thumbs at herself and said, “I’m going to read it!”

My girls aren’t the same little girls they were two years ago. They grow and change every day.

It’s so tempting to think…

…when I get through this busy season at work, I’ll be able to focus on the girls.

…when I move into a real house, we’ll do all kinds of fun things together.

…when I find someone to be in a relationship with, then the girls and I will have the life I want.

But I can’t wait for those things to happen to invest my time and energy in my daughters. I’ll miss too much. I don’t want to miss who they are right now.