Stepfathers

“You can’t avoid the fact that the Creator of the universe entrusted his Son to be raised by a man who was not his biological father.”

That line rocked my world a couple of weeks ago. It’s from The Smart Stepfamily by Ron L. Deal. Emily and I have been reading the book as we prepare to join our families in January. Deal has a whole section on blended families of the Bible, and at the top of that list is the family at the heart of Christmas: Jesus, his mother Mary, and his stepfather Joseph.

Okay, it’s more traditional to refer to Joseph as Jesus’ father, but in modern terms, it’s fair to call him Jesus’ stepfather. He wasn’t Jesus’ biological father, but he married Jesus’ mother. That makes him a stepdad.

I’m going to be a stepdad in just a few weeks.

I’ve always heard of Joseph as a noble man, keeping his promise to marry Mary, even when she turned up pregnant one day. Joseph knew he wasn’t the dad. Sure, he had a little help believing it was all God’s plan, thanks to that angel. But the fact remains that he could have bailed when Mary became pregnant. He didn’t. He stood by her.

It wasn’t until this year, reading that stepfamily book, that I thought hard about the relationship Joseph had with Jesus, and what that commitment to Mary must have meant for his role as stepfather.

I went to a Christmas service at my church last Friday. Aside from seeing my soon-to-be-niece performing with the children’s choir, the highlight of the evening came in the form of a series of monologues delivered by church members with some real acting talent. Someone played the innkeeper, someone else played a shepherd, and so on.

Someone played Joseph, reflecting on that holy night. And he referred to himself as a stepfather. It went by fast, but I caught it. I don’t know if I’ve ever heard that word as part of the Christmas story before this year. But this year I heard it.

I imagined Joseph staring into the face of a baby lying in a manger. The child wasn’t his, but he loved the child’s mother deeply, and so he loved the child. I imagined Joseph playing with toddler Jesus, teaching teenage Jesus the carpentry trade, providing for Jesus and Mary and calling Jesus son.

The Creator of the universe entrusted his Son to be raised by a teenage girl and the man she married. Jesus’ stepfather.

Tonight, I took the girls to see the Behold the Lamb of God concert at the Ryman, featuring the amazing Andrew Peterson and his equally amazing musician friends. You know that genealogy section in Matthew, so-and-so begat so-and-so, from Abraham on down? Andrew Peterson has set that to music, and it’s a fun, fun song. He played it tonight. And I heard something I hadn’t really heard before.

The genealogy of Jesus, from Abraham to Isaac to Jacob, to David and Solomon and all the rest, the genealogy that gives Jesus his family and his identity, it runs through Joseph. Not Mary. Joseph. Jesus’ stepfather.

I cried when I heard that song, when I realized how God blessed the role of stepfather through the holy family.

I’m stepping into that role in just a few weeks. I’m marrying a woman with two wonderful children. I love her deeply, and so I love her children. And I know that since God used Joseph as part of his plan for the redemption of the world, he can use me in my new, expanded family.

This role I’m taking on is an honor and a responsibility.

And a blessing.