Help

When I’m starting to get dinner ready and Lily asks, “Can I help?”, these days I mentally translate that into “Can I spend some time with you?”

I’m not an experienced cook, so when it’s time to make dinner, I need to concentrate on what I’m doing. On weeknights–when the three of us often don’t get home until right before dinner time–I’m often in a hurry to get dinner prepared, so concentration is even more important. I want to be in the zone and get dinner ready as quickly and efficiently as possible. Practically speaking, Lily can’t help me do that. Involving her in dinner prep only slows the process down.

But when Lily asks, “Can I help?”, she’s not really interested in helping me do what I need to do. She’s interested in spending time with me, in being involved in what I’m doing. Sure, she likes the mixing and measuring and mashing, but she’s not doing it to save me time. She wants to be doing what I’m doing.

So when I hear “Can I help?”, I think to myself, “No, you can’t help. But I’d love to spend some time with you, too.” And I say, “Sure! Let’s find something you can do.” And then getting dinner ready becomes a much more enjoyable thing to do.

Image: “Ordinary Wooden Spoon,” macattck, Flickr (CC)