{"id":834,"date":"2015-01-18T14:50:45","date_gmt":"2015-01-18T19:50:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/derekbruff.org\/blogs\/disfordad\/?p=834"},"modified":"2015-01-18T14:50:45","modified_gmt":"2015-01-18T19:50:45","slug":"new-years-priorities","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/derekbruff.org\/blogs\/disfordad\/?p=834","title":{"rendered":"New Year’s Priorities"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Road<\/a>I’m not a fan of New Year’s resolutions. I think I’ve heard too many jokes about failed resolutions that I have in my mind that resolutions are made to be broken. Last year, I made New Year’s goals instead. I identified two goals for 2014: to run 250 miles (not all at once) and to cultivate relationships. I’m happy to report that I met both goals.<\/p>\n

I realized that in past years, I would run a lot in preparation for a 10K or half-marathon, then take a few months off after the race. That didn’t seem productive, so I decided to set a mileage goal for the year. RunKeeper told me I logged about 180 miles in 2013, so I set 250 as a goal for 2014. In January, I bought some cold weather running clothes and went to work. (I had never run in cold weather, which was another reason I took time off in the past!) I rarely ran more than four miles at a time, but I was able to get a lot of four-mile runs in, enough to hit my goal by early December. By the end of the year, my pace improved significantly, and my doctor told me my cholesterol had never been better!<\/p>\n

My first goal was nicely quantifiable. My second goal, not so much, but I feel safe saying I met it. I realized early in the year that I had a really great small group, but no one else in the group had kids. I needed to seek out new friends. I volunteered to work the kids ministry check-in desk on Sunday mornings, through which I started connecting with other parents, some of whom happened to have daughters on my daughter’s soccer team, which helped. This fall, I joined a new small group, one for blended families and single parents. Our small group is indeed very small, but we’re mighty. I can’t tell you how comfortable it is to be among other people who have gone through divorce or share custody of their kids with their exes. Meanwhile, I started hosting monthly board game nights at my new house, inviting Nashville friends I had met in various places over the years. My social network is in pretty good shape these days, and it helps to keep me mentally and emotionally healthy.<\/p>\n

Looking ahead to 2015, I’m still not making resolutions, and I don’t think I’ll set any goals either, other than another running goal: 300 miles this year. (All I have to do is turn those four-milers into five-milers.) No, I’m drawn to the idea of identifying priorities<\/strong> for 2015. Looking back at a very busy 2014 and looking down at the to-do lists I’ve already written myself for 2015, I realize that there’s just too much that I need or want to do. If I’m not careful, I’m going to end up spending time on activities that just aren’t that important. I need to lay out some priorities for myself for the year, ones that will help me make good decisions about how to invest my time.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Make my house a home.<\/strong> I remember how rewarding it felt to properly equip my daughters’ bedroom<\/a> back in the condo… after living with unpainted walls and makeshift beds for three years. I moved into my current house 13 months ago, and I still haven’t done much with the place. It’s a fine house, cozy enough, but there’s not much of our family here. I want to paint the girls’ bedroom and the playroom, and I want to hang more photos on the walls, especially photos of the girls and my travel photography. This isn’t hard stuff, but it’s so easy to spend my weekends doing other things. Time to make this a priority.<\/li>\n
  2. Reduce debt.<\/strong> Getting divorced and starting one’s life over can be costly. I had to put a lot of things on credit card early on. Later, after looking at the debt I had accumulated, I went through a “What’s another $200?” phase, which made things worse. I’ve been wanting to pay off all that credit card debt for a while now, but it wasn’t until late 2014 that I got serious about it. I started working with a financial adviser, and I have a plan for keeping my expenses under control and paying off debt in 2015. A friend of mine and his wife recently paid off all their credit card debt, and hearing that encouraged me. I can imagine how good that feels! I don’t think I can get there in 2015, but I can make a big dent. That means, for instance, deferring a badly needed new home computer until I can save up for it, so it doesn’t go on a credit card!<\/li>\n
  3. Spend more time in Nashville.<\/strong> I’m very fortunate that my work allows me to travel, sometimes far across the world. (I spent last week in Abu Dhabi of all places!) I love to see the sights and take great pictures, but the time away from Nashville is hard. I need more time in my office, managing my staff, working on projects, and networking across campus. More importantly, I need time at home with my kids. They’re my biggest priority, and life gets tough when I’m on the road every other week. Here’s the thing: I’m still going to travel a lot for work, since these trips usually mean extra income. (See priority #2.) But I’m not going to tack on extra days for sightseeing, as I’ve been doing the past few years. These trips will be in and out, just as quick as I can manage. That will mean less photography, which I really enjoy, but… priorities. And, frankly, traveling by myself is starting to get a bit lonely, which leads me to priority #4:<\/li>\n
  4. Make time for dating.<\/strong> I certainly wanted a more active social life in 2014, but, between work and travel, I didn’t really give myself time to pursue anything. That’s going to have to change if I ever want to meet someone. And I definitely want to meet someone. I could certainly use the companionship, but, just as important, I want my girls to have a mom who is a believer. It’s a tough task, nurturing my kids’ faith in this busy world, and I would really like someone to help me. I see how my married friends work together to raise their kids, and I miss that. I think I’m doing fine as a single dad, but I know my girls would benefit from another good influence in their lives. Me, too, for that matter!<\/li>\n
  5. Seek spiritual growth.<\/strong> I’ve been coasting here for a while. I led my last small group, which meant spending several hours each week preparing for and leading Bible study. But when I stepped out of that role in May, I also stopped spending time nurturing my own faith. My current small group helps, but I think I need something more. Maybe I need to seek out some kind of ministry work at my church, maybe I need to visit other churches in the area to see what they offer on Sunday mornings. I’m hoping that God will point me in the right direction. (That “visiting other churches in the area” might help with priority #4, too…)<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    If these are the aspects of my life that I want to give more attention to in 2015, which aspects get less attention? Travel, photography, and, well, Netflix, I guess. I also want to be more careful about the commitments I make at and through work. I like my job, and I appreciate all the opportunities it provides, but I’ve got to do a better job of guarding my nights and weekends, so I can make time for the priorities listed above. Work can be pretty stressful, too, and I don’t want that stress affecting how I treat my kids. I want to do my job well, but 2015 needs be the year where I say “no” to opportunities a little more often.<\/p>\n

    I hope the act of reflecting on and articulating these priorities will help me choose how to use my time more intentionally. What are your priorities for 2015?<\/p>\n

    Image: “Road Sign<\/a>,” Steven Feather, Flickr (CC-BY-NC-SA)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    I’m not a fan of New Year’s resolutions. I think I’ve heard too many jokes about failed resolutions that I have in my mind that resolutions are made to be broken. Last year, I made New Year’s goals instead. I identified two goals for 2014: to run 250 miles (not …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":840,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[25,121,128,18,129],"class_list":["post-834","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-faith","tag-priorities","tag-running","tag-single-dad","tag-travel","column","twocol","has-thumbnail"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/derekbruff.org\/blogs\/disfordad\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/834","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/derekbruff.org\/blogs\/disfordad\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/derekbruff.org\/blogs\/disfordad\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/derekbruff.org\/blogs\/disfordad\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/derekbruff.org\/blogs\/disfordad\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=834"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/derekbruff.org\/blogs\/disfordad\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/834\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":841,"href":"https:\/\/derekbruff.org\/blogs\/disfordad\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/834\/revisions\/841"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/derekbruff.org\/blogs\/disfordad\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/840"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/derekbruff.org\/blogs\/disfordad\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=834"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/derekbruff.org\/blogs\/disfordad\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=834"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/derekbruff.org\/blogs\/disfordad\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=834"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}