![\"\"](\"http:\/\/derekbruff.org\/blogs\/fathertime\/files\/2012\/08\/daddydates.jpg\" "\\"daddydates\\"")
<\/a>This afternoon I’ve been reading a book I picked up at LifeWay a few weeks ago called Daddy Dates<\/a><\/em> by Greg Wright. Since starting this blog, I’ve wanted not only to write about being a father, but to read about fatherhood, too. No sense relying exclusively on my own wisdom when there are so many other fathers out there who have figured out a thing or two. If you know of good books for fathers, particularly single fathers, please share in the comments.<\/p>\n<\/em>The subtitle of Daddy Dates<\/em> is “Four Daughters, One Clueless Dad, and His Quest to Win Their Hearts.” Greg Wright may call himself clueless, but he’s further down the fatherhood road than I am, with most of his girls in their teenage years. He writes with a healthy does of humility, which I don’t always see in parenting books. I like that about him, and I like his big idea: If you want to get to know your daughter, take her on a date.<\/strong><\/p>\n Here’s Wright, setting up his big idea:<\/p>\n I believe it’s the job of every husband and father to understand that his job–perhaps his most important job–is to be the pursuer.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n The idea that a man should pursue a woman is something I’ve heard many times before. Sometimes the language of pursuit comes across as focusing on a man’s failures. “Don’t just flirt with her on Facebook! Ask her out on a real date!” But Wright doesn’t do that. He frames pursuit in terms of a man’s strength. It’s something we’re built to do.<\/p>\n More importantly, he identifies the goal of this pursuit: to understand the women who are important to us. Too often, advice on dating leaves this bit out, instead just admonishing men to take initiative. Yes, taking initiative is important, but to what end?<\/p>\n Here’s how Wright answers that question in the context of pursuing one’s daughters:<\/p>\n Pursuing a daughter with the goal of getting to know what’s in her heart and mind is how you will bond with her, build her confidence, and find happiness… for both of you.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n I’m confident I know my girls pretty well… for now. As they get older, however, their inner lives will become increasingly complex and, at least to me, mysterious. I’m going to have to work more intentionally to understand and connect with them. That will take one-on-one quality time with my girls. I like Wright’s version of quality time, the “daddy date”:<\/p>\n All I did was carve out special time for this one girl and made a real effort to get to know her in a relaxed, enjoyable environment that suited her personality.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n It’s not a complicated plan, just a sensible one. But in case you’re a dad who’s wondering how to go about this, Wright spends several chapters providing lots of ideas and pointers. How to understand your daughter’s personality. How to go about your first “daddy date.” How to listen so that she feels comfortable sharing her feelings.<\/p>\n I’m only halfway through Daddy Dates<\/em>, but it’s off to a strong start. I’m looking forward to using Wright’s advice to get to know my daughters. I’ll leave you with one more quote from the book:<\/p>\n It’s never too late to show your love by being curious about who she is–and then listening.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I’ve had a couple of days to myself this weekend. The girls are with their mom, having the time of their lives at the American Girl store in Atlanta. (I hear that Hannah’s doll got her hair done and her ears pierced, however that works.) I’ve had a very productive …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":263,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[83,5,9],"class_list":["post-262","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-feelings","tag-growing-up","tag-quality-time","column","twocol","has-thumbnail"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/derekbruff.org\/blogs\/disfordad\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/262","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/derekbruff.org\/blogs\/disfordad\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/derekbruff.org\/blogs\/disfordad\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/derekbruff.org\/blogs\/disfordad\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/derekbruff.org\/blogs\/disfordad\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=262"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/derekbruff.org\/blogs\/disfordad\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/262\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":264,"href":"https:\/\/derekbruff.org\/blogs\/disfordad\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/262\/revisions\/264"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/derekbruff.org\/blogs\/disfordad\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/263"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/derekbruff.org\/blogs\/disfordad\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=262"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/derekbruff.org\/blogs\/disfordad\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=262"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/derekbruff.org\/blogs\/disfordad\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=262"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}